Mistake or Decision?

Deciding to make a mistake, asking for forgiveness instead of permission, it’s something we are all guilty of. Have you ever “accidentally” “forgotten” to call or text someone back? I mean come on, that happens everyday. When you are at work and you’re not entirely sure if this is the right way to handle the situation, but it seems right to you and go with it? In life these things happen, but how many times do we accept a mistake before we realize it’s a decision? “Accidentally” “Forgetting” to return something that you borrowed and now it lives with you. That Ex that you decided to forgive for his 56987245803 mistake. How many times are you allowed to make a mistake before it becomes a decision? Deciding to stay in a unhealthy relationships with friends or lovers and allowing the negativity into your life. “Accidentally” “ Forgetting” to take time to invest in your dream because you’re too tired from work. Deciding to accept less is a mistake and that turns into a decision on your life and your future. Making a choice to allow wrong in your life won’t allow your life to progress correctly. A lesson I was educated on in a very long slow manner, but that was because on decisions that I made. I did things that I knew were wrong, but I didn’t care & so I did them anyway. Living this way brought so much negativity to my life left me damaged. What goes around comes around and all that jazz I guess. I was weighted down with expectations that I created for myself and it affected my spirit, my body and my mind. I felt like I was swallowed up with a whole new set of issues just when I had let go of the old ones. Learning to let go of physical insecurities was as simple as joining a gym. I learned to embrace my skin and my features by stepping in front of the lens of my camera. The rest came with growth and I think we can all agree that growing up isn’t easy and it’s most definitely not cheap. Going through these different mental, physical and spiritual phases of growth changed me, but didn't change my bills due date. While I was dealing with all this growth I also had to handle the ironic tragedy of my life. I was a photographer with nothing but broken and damaged equipment. Having to make the decision of paying your bills or reinvesting in your dreams is a hard choice. I guess I was too proud because a GoFundMe just didn’t feel right to me, I felt like I needed to figure this out and make it myself. When you are down to your last dime, literally, you learn to be humble. Humility isn’t the only thing that came with these lessons, but faith came too. I learned to believe in myself tremendously and in God even more and just try. I know that sounds simple, but really I just woke up one day and decided to stop making the same mistakes. I feel like that’s what my spirit animal Cardi B did, woke up and saiid I’m about to do this shit and what she doing? That shit. I know it’s possible for me to make my dreams come true, it’s jus t going to take time, work, faith and patience. "But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” Matthew 19:26. I really just wrote this post to encourage any of my sisters that are going through a hard time right now. IN whatever way you might feel like you’re failing just remember that you have the power to change your life. Let go of all the baggage of what you feel like you need to have or where you think you need to be by now focusing on that part won’t change. If you never move towards what you want you will never get there. You can’t change the footprints that you already made, but you have to take a step in order to create new ones. It’s time to take that leap of faith, stop making excuses and just do it. Don’t talk about it, literally just start doing that shit and then they will talk about it for you. I want everyone to be great and go for things beyond the obvious, I want joy and love to be in your surroundings. Are you still deciding to make the same mistakes or deciding to stop making mistakes?